Yoga Teacher Training-Nearly There!

I’d meant to start documenting my experience with YMCA Fit’s Yoga Teacher Training from Day One but this kind of went by the wayside with a bout of the Flu and an excitable nine-month old at home. I really cannot believe I have managed to come this far with a new baby, having started studying the anatomy component when my son was only a few months old.

And trying to get a daily self-practice in like I did before: way harder when my son likes to roll underneath me when I’m attempting Sun Salutations.

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Just before deciding to ‘join in’ mummy’s yoga self-practice

But somehow, with the support of my gorgeous and selfless husband, plus the best parents ever, not to mention friends who have allowed me to practice on them, I did it! (Yes, I know I haven’t actually done my final exam yet, but I ‘m thinking positively).So with only a couple of weeks to go until my final practical exam, here is the lowdown on the teacher training so far…

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Friendly instructors

Both Jonathan and Annie were incredibly supportive. Jonathan made us laugh every single day, and was so engaging. He knows so much! Both were always to available to answer questions or emails. most importantly, they taught us so much and instilled in us a confidence that we could be the best teacher we could possibly be.

I even had the confidence to teach Headstand, something I had been too scared to do since falling over into our sofa at home. I’m always petrified that I’m going to break my fingers and then somehow die….hhmm.

 

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This London-based blended-learning course was held at OneKX near Kings Cross. The studio was clean with loads of equipment and a nice little vegetarian cafe downstairs. Also two minutes walk to one of my favourite coffee shops, Half Cup. Please go there if you can-the staff are so friendly (so rare in London) and I think that I love their coffee as much as Caravan. I know. Yogis shouldn’t drink coffee. I never said I was perfect…..

Now a bit about the rest…

The e-learning materials were fabulous, but I must say that the support via email or telephone was pretty much non-existent. I felt that once my payment had been accepted, then the YMCA were satisfied that they had done all they needed to. Many of my emails for help went unanswered; staff on the telephone were either rude or had a “couldn’t care less attitude”.

However, overall I would recommend this course. It fits in so well with my lifestyle right now, and I have actually looked forward to each session, which is unusual for me as it is usually rather hard for me to stay focused or engaged. I am pretty excited about our practical exam as I will finally be able to go out and teach for real!  YAY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I LOVE Child’s Pose

 

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Now, THIS is yoga…and sleeeeeep

Wow, it’s HARD being a mum. I actually used to (inwardly) roll my eyes when I heard people at work go on about how little sleep they were getting, and how their baby was going this or doing that. I couldn’t relate, so generally switched off. In fact, I found the subject boring. Now, of course, I try not to bore other people with talk of sleepless nights, feeding routines and post-pregnancy tummies. Now I realise that those parents at work needed an outlet, and that the easiest way for them was to talk about their problems, even if the listener had no clue as to how they were feeling.

Using yoga as an outlet

So I only talk about baby stuff to those who may relate to what I am on about. Otherwise, my other outlet is through yoga. Whenever I have been going through hard times in the past, yoga has helped me focus on something else, and I have always felt better after my practice. The problem does not go away but I find that I am more equipped to deal with it after yoga. I’d like to share with others this way of helping ourselves deal with emotions. For this reason, I am embarking on a Yoga Teacher Training Course with the YMCA. I don’t exactly love the YMCA training so far, mainly because I called my tutor and he didn’t even know who I was/ask if I needed any help. He only seemed interested in taking my money for another course. Anyway, more on the course in another post. I am aware that the yoga teacher market is pretty much saturated within London, and that everyone knows someone who is training to become a yoga teacher. I would still like to give it a go though, hopefully without becoming a cliché! I am not suddenly going to call myself a Yogini and wear yoga clothing All. The. Time.

Unfortunately, procrastination is fun.

The YMCA blended learning consists of online theory covering Anatomy and Physiology. I’ve always found it difficult to motivate myself to study without being in an actual classroom. When needing to learn online, I find that Asos is much more fun, as is the Topshop Lookbook. And Instagram. And then there’s that Whatsapp message on my phone I need to reply to. What makes it even more difficult to sit down and study is needing to look after my six month old son. I try to read when he is napping, but as those with babies may know, sometimes naps can only last half an hour-just enough time to have a shower! My son just LOVES to catnap, just like a cat. I have, however, managed to complete some of the online work which I have been able to do when my husband is home. He is my saviour!

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This is currently my version of  Wheel!

The hardest part has been getting back into my physical practice. My core has become significantly weakened since pregnancy and birth, as have my inner thighs, making poses difficult which I once used to find easy. These are poses such as Wheel and any plank variation. In a public class, I spend a lot of time in Child’s Pose, something I used to be embarassed about doing, but have no idea why.

 

 

 

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One day I will jump back into plank.

Sleep deprivation makes it difficult for me to actually get my yoga clothes on in the first place. Seeing as I am so incredibly tired anyway, I have resorted to waking up an hour before my son at 6am as that is the only time I seem able to practice. Actually, I have only done this once (this morning) but I will try to continue this. The practical side of the course doesn’t start until January, so I am hoping by that time that I can at least hold a Wheel without wanting to cry!

‘Baby blues’?

I haven’t posted in absolutely ages as was busy giving birth to my now six month old son and have been completely preoccupied with looking after him! It was tough at first, but things have got easier due to us managing to get him into a bit of a routine. He is, however, exactly like myself when  was a baby (so I’m told), in that he is demanding, attention seeking, and generally hard work! That said, he is anything but boring, and is massively affectionate and intelligent.

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Heavily pregnant at baby shower and yet feeling alone.

I hated being pregnant. There, I said it.

It’s funny thinking about how much I am gushing about him, as I certainly did not feel like this at the start. In fact, controversially, I disliked being pregnant, hated the way my body looked, and felt it was completely out of my control. You wouldn’t have thought it, though, from looking at photos of me, or talking to me, as I was always trying to hide how I felt. If I did try and explain it to someone, they would think that I was crazy: “what?! How can you not be excited? How can you not like being pregnant?” Most of this came from those who had not had babies, but also to a lesser extent, those who had. This made me feel guilty as if something was wrong with me. I did go and see a Perinatal Counsellor, but this again made me feel worse. I felt that I would need a lot of help when the baby was born, but the counsellor suggested that he would not know who his mum was if I let other people look after him. So I stopped seeing her.

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Days before giving birth.

Post-childbirth is not always all hearts and flowers like in films.

Fast forward to the birth. It was not all smiles and celebration when he was born; it was a long 48 hour labour and I was absolutely knackered. It was more relief that I felt; relief that the pain was over and that perhaps I could rest. Little did I know that babies do not allow you to rest! Being a spirited baby, my son cried A LOT. I couldn’t get the hang of breastfeeding either.

Getting help

I ended up breaking down in my GP’s office whilst attending my son’s 6 week check. She offered to prescribe me antidepressants. I was so desperate, I agreed. I had been scared to take them before in case of addiction or scary side-effects, but I was at the point where I didn’t care. I couldn’t seem to bond with my baby, I was sleep deprived, I couldn’t breastfeed and I felt that nobody understood. Another doctor got me an appointment with a family psychiatrist whereby I was to go and speak to her with my baby. Leaving the house with him on my own freaked me out as I hated doing this. I was always anxious that he would start crying and that I wouldn’t be able to cope. I managed to go it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I felt proud that I had made it to the appointment. The sessions were helpful in that they helped me to empathise with my son and see why it was so frustrating not to be able to communicate with words.

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With Alfie in the midst of post-natal depression.

The only way he could tell me what he wanted was to cry. I made an effort to talk to him more and involve him in what I was doing. I started to feel less anxious around him and really started to miss him when I went out to run errands, ironically because I was spending more time with him as opposed to avoiding him. However, I did find that the counsellor kept advising against other people looking after him. My parents would look after him when things got too much, especially when my husband was away working. She said that this was not a good thing and should be avoided where possible. So I felt guilty for doing this and stopped, leaving me depressed again and completely shattered. I decided to take what advice I needed and to leave the rest, which really worked for me.

I still ask my parents to look after Alfie as I love having time alone with my loving, supportive husband and sometimes I just really need to catch up on my sleep! Alfie loves seeing his grandparents too, and I no longer feel guilty about this as it helps me feel so much better physically and emotionally.

These feelings were not just ‘baby blues’; I felt too anxious to be alone with Alfie, I cried most of the time, I couldn’t sleep and wouldn’t eat anything. I was scared to leave the house with him, and was scared that something bad would happen to him if I wasn’t constantly prepared for the worst. I have to say, I wish I’d started taking anti-depressants earlier, and speaking to someone professional sooner. Friends didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to bother my family with such worries. I just wish women didn’t feel such pressure to be the perfect mum!

If anyone has similar feelings postnatally or even during pregnancy, I would definitely recommend speaking to a professional and possibly opening up to another mum as she may be going through the same thing. Also, don’t compare your baby to others; they are all individual. I used to ask myself, “why can’t Alfie be quiet and calm like that baby?” but now I feel blessed to have such a lively, happy and expressive son.